Absorbent and yellow and porous is she

I am a sponge. I blame my sponginess somewhat on being born a Pisces. Damn sensitive water signs. I am a sponge because I easily absorb the traits of people around me. My voice may sound similar to Rose’s voice because I have soaked in some of her sarcasm and diction (dude, it’s really fucking weird, man). When I was in college, I collected my respective roommates’ surface level habits of calling people “fools”, using the word “dang”, responding with “BAHAHA”, and saying “y’all”.

Attracting these little crumbs is not a huge deal. I can “BAHAHA” and curse all day long but still remain the same core product from 1991. However, I worry about being too flexible and lacking a strong enough core. I too readily allow other people’s opinions to seep into me. I let other people’s hands guide me along my path. One person tells me what a practical major in college would be. Now I’m an economist. Another person tells me that I could do more to help the world. Now I’m in a public service oriented graduate program.

I know I can’t complain. Economics and graduate school are not bad plates to clean. But I often wonder (as many of us wonder) what would have happened if I had pursued the Creative Writing, Latin American Studies, or Theater tracks that interested me in college. We can easily tell ourselves, “ehh—that wouldn’t have made me any money—I’d be a struggling artist”. But that sense of wonder remains. The little holes in my spongy self crave more fulfillment.

Could I have written some dope-ass personal essays and submitted them to journals? Could I have traveled to South America to learn and write about people’s stories? Could I have been the next [insert the name of some famous Jewish actress; you only have like three to choose from]?

I don’t know, man. There is a hit musical out now about a singing sponge that lives in a pineapple under the sea. So perhaps anything is still possible. I’ll keep my pores open.